Saturday, October 09, 2010

Threshold of Geezerdom


Yesterday I applied for social security, or socialist insecurity as some call it. It was amazingly easy considering the government is involved. I did it on line in about 15 minutes. But Uncle Sam is infamous for screwing up my records so we'll see if this continues to go smoothly or if I'm headed for a great adventure.

What has this to do with John Lennon? Nothing. I believe yesterday was the anniversary of his birth and I wanted to acknowledge it.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Another Meme Project

From Rick Robinson's blog comes this meme. The answers are titles of books I've read this year (authors in parentheses).

I am: THE LAST DOG SOLDIER (Joseph A. West)

I will never be: FRISCO FILLY (Jon Sharpe)

I fear: GALLOWS (Bob Randisi)

My best friend is: THE PAINTED WOMEN (Chad Calhoun)

What’s the weather like? MURDER IN THE AIR (Bill Crider)

Best Advice: YOU NEVER KNOW WITH WOMEN (James Hadley Chase)

I’ve never been to: MYSTERY RANCH (Max Brand)

Favorite form of transport: DEAD MAN'S SADDLE (Jon Sharpe)

I’ll never fit in at: NEVADA (Burt Arthur)

How I’d like to die: NO NICE GIRL (Perry Lindsay)

You and your friends are: TROUBLE IN TOMBSTONE (Richard S. Wheeler)

Thought of the day: PARDON MY BODY (Dale Bogard)

Your soul’s present condition: TRIP HOME TO HELL (Jack Bickham)

Monday, October 04, 2010

Miscellaneous Garbage


The Mariners lost 101 games this year. Hey, Joe Torre, want a job?

I won $204 yesterday at the Muckleshoot Casino. $160 on one 25-cent bet at a slot machine. I gave each of my girls $100 and kept the rest.

I have somewhere between 25 and 27 work days left. I had a cold last week and had to kill two sick days, so my count is off and with what I'll accrue between now and the end of the year, it'll be tricky making my Adios date.

October is zipping along and I'm eager for it to be over. I especially look forward to Friday, which is my holiday for Columbus Day.

The image of Homicide Hostess has nothing to do with this post. I just like it.

Monday, September 27, 2010

George Blanda, RIP


I've just learned that George Blanda has died. I was lucky enough to be an Oakland Raiders fan in the early 1970s where Blanda was a backup quarterback and place kicker. Whenever he came on the field I was certain he would pull out a victory in the last seconds, and I was rarely wrong. He played pro football until he was a month shy of his 49th birthday, and had to be pulled from the team kicking and screaming even then. What a hell of a guy. You can see a clip about him HERE

Friday, September 24, 2010

Homage to Republic


I wrote a short essay about the only Republic serial I saw as a kid for Laurie Powers' excellent blog. You can find it HERE. If you haven't bookmarked Laurie's blog, do so. It's consistently excellent and interesting.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Countdown Interrupted


Goldurnit, I had to stay home today with the beginnings of a cold. I hated to burn the sick leave, but I'm hoping I might nip this before it becomes a real monster cold. I'll probably spend the weekend feeling miserable. Goldurnit.

I think this means I still have 29 days to go before retirement. Work days, that is.

My illo today shows Senator C. Estes Kefauver in a coonskin cap. Estes was famous for his committee's public inquiry into organized crime and he was from Tennessee, as was Davy Crockett.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

29 Days To Go


I hope my numbers are right in this Days To Go countdown. It seems to change depending on how I count them.

We're playing war games at work and the way things are going we might as well surrender and get it over with. Quel farce.

I need to get to bed early tonight. I'm reading Mississippi Vivian, by Bill Crider and Clive Wilson, as my bedtime book and it's keeping me up late. I was a zombie today. I'd like to be a bit more lively tomorrow.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

30 Days To Go


Now we're talking. Thirty days hath September, Cap'n Bob, and November. "Thirty days, Jerry!" "When you're hot, you're hot." The big three-oh. Thirtysomething. That writes 30 to this story.

Random thought: I have no luck whatsoever with flashlights and lawn mowers. Every time I've owned one of these items they've either been pieces of junk from day one or, if they were good, died young. I still have a Walkman that functions fine, I had a truck for 15 years, but not a decent flashlight in the house. I have a lot of flashlights, but they all stink. Am I alone in this?

Friday, September 17, 2010

33, 32, 31 Days To Go


Sorry I missed the last two nights. I forgot on 33 and we had storms on 32 so I shut down the computer. It has been a quiet week anyway. I finished reading Bill Crider's MURDER IN THE AIR, his latest Sheriff Dan Rhodes mystery, and I think it's one of his best. I hope to do a real review this weekend if I find the time. I'm going to the Western Washington State Fair (The Puyallup) tomorrow and hope the rain holds off while I'm walking around. I saw some fair food prices in the paper tonight and it's shocking. A corn dog is $4.07. Bad enough they want four bucks, but the seven cents is the ultimate insult. A cheeseburger is close to ten bucks and be prepared to lay out $8.50+ for a bratwurst. Maybe I'll just snatch a chicken from the poultry exhibit and see if the guy demonstrating George Foreman Grills can cook it for me. I will get some scones for sure, though. They are the one must-have in the food department. The best part: I'm getting in for free.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

34 Days To Go, Adults Only Version



On this day in 1914 Clayton "The Lone Ranger" Moore was born. I wish he was still around. Still alive is Joey Heatherton, who is 66 today. She's probably the sexiest 66-year-old woman extant.

Friday, September 10, 2010

35 Days To Go


I hit the daily double--35 days left and it's Friday, the start of my three-day weekend. I like the number 35 but don't attach any special significance to it. I seem to recall a report years ago that said women reached their sexual peak at 35, but who knows if that's true. Okay, maybe some 35-year-old-women do. Any of them out there want to chime in?

The woman in the photo is Susan Hayward, an actress I've always admired.

Happy Birthday Aunt Peggy.

Thursday, September 09, 2010

36 Days To Go


36, now there's a number. Carol Doda, famous for her breast implants in the '70s, was spokes-airhead for a UHF station in the Bay Area, Channel 36. "The Perfect 36," she would coo during station breaks. The Battle of the Alamo occured in 1836, as did San Jacinto, which guaranteed Texas's freedom from Mexico. Japan invaded China in 1936. Three dozen is 36.

Happy Birthday to my kid sister Denise.

Happy anniversary to me and Linda, too. Twenty-one years.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

37 Days To Go


Today was a total bore. Ten hours at work and I did nothing. Oh wait, I did about 20 minutes' worth of work and 30 minutes of reading. Mingo finally showed up on an episode of Daniel Boone.

The year 1937, or '37 as I call it, heralded the first issue of Look magazine. H.P. Lovecraft died. The first science Fiction convention was held in Leeds, England.

I do want to wish Tough Jim Gaston luck with his operation. He's scheduled for an angioplasty today.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

38 Days To Go


I can't think of one thing about the number 38 that is significant. Jayne Mansfield's chest? No matter. I would like to take a moment to say happy birthday to my mother-in-law, Corinne, who is 93 today. That's almost two-and-a-half 38s.

Today I saw an old episode of Kojak and one of the punks was Michael Richards, better known as Kramer from Seinfeld. He was so young it was hard for some of my co-workers to recognize him, but the voice was unmistakable. I love watching old shows and seeing actors who hadn't made it big yet. Since we got our new break room I've also seen a number of episodes of Daniel Boone. In every one Ed Ames is shown in the opening credits but he hasn't been in any of the shows. I'll need to look that up.

I wrote a little essay about My West for Meridian West, Rich Prosch's otherwise fine blog. See it here

Thursday, September 02, 2010

39 Days To Go


Jack Benny was always 39. The year 1939 was probably the best in history for movie releases (Stagecoach, Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, etc). Germany invaded Poland in '39, initiating WWII.

Coming up for me is a 4-day weekend, so I won't count down another day until Tuesday.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

40 Days To Go


Now, 40 is a good number. Life begins at 40. Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves. Forty-four forty or fight. Forty winks. I'm sure you can come up with more. A nice round number.

I mentioned yesterday that I bought a bunch of books at Half-Price on Monday. Dave "Evan" Lewis wanted to know the titles. Here they are:

The Wild Bunch, Dane Coolidge

The Portable Mark Twain

The Troopers, Mike Jameson (probably have it already)

Ride the Red Trail, Lewis B. Patten

Carston's Law, Jim Miller (Ex-Rangers series)

The Pumpkin Rollers, The Raiders, Wagontongue, and Texas Vendetta, Elmer Kelton

Bowman's Kid, Gordon D. Shirreffs

Cimarron in the Cherokee Strip, Leo P. Kelley (Cimarron series)

The Hanging Trail, Seven Wagons West, Dead Man's Saddle, Six-Gun Sombreros, and Red River Revenge, Jon Sharpe (The Trailsman series)

You Can't Stop Me, Max Allan Collins

That ought to hold me for a while. That, and the thousands of others I own. Happy September.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

41 Days To Go


We entered WWII in '41 on a day that will live in infamy.

Yesterday I gave in to an urge and went to Half-Price Books, where I snagged 17 books at under $2.00 each. Later, I bought another half-dozen books on Amazon.

Before I left the house I washed my car for the first time in a year. Today it rained.

And the countdown continues...

Friday, August 27, 2010

42 Days To Go


I like the number 42. The Doolittle Raid and the Battle of Midway happened in '42. Summer of '42 was a pretty good movie. My younger baby was born when I was 42. I didn't want to rush into things, I guess.

Pictured is the classic shadow band The Moops. From let to right are yours truly, Dave "Evan" Lewis, and Brian Trainer (alias Tough Jim Gaston). Tough Jim is going to have some heart surgery in about 10 days and I want to wish him every kind of good fortune. He's a swell fellow and a magnificent guitarist.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

43 Days To Go

I really have nothing to say about the number 43, but this day is not without good tidings. James Reasoner, as fine and prolific a writer as ever beat a keyboard into submission, posted a review of my latest book, THE TOYMAN RIDES AGAIN, on his excellent blog. If I remember how to create links you'll find it here. Thanks, James, for your perspicacity.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

44 Days To Go

A pair of fours in poker is called Sailboats. I used to have a .44 magnum Ruger Blackhawk. There are 44 keys in half a piano keyboard. The days melt away, but not fast enough.

My older girl, Stephanie, who is gifting me with a granddaughter in November, had a checkup today. All is well, I'm relieved and happy to say.

Tune in tomorrow when I have even less to say.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

45 Day To Go

Just 45 working days left. I can liken the number 45 to 1845, the year the Mexican War started, and 1945, the year WWII ended and my older sister was born. I had a semi-productive weekend. Finally installed the molding on the new flooring (new several months ago) and took $30 from the Muckleshoot tribe at their large and clean casino.

I'm also tracking the Auburn, WA, team in the Little League World Series. After dropping their first game in the double-elimination format to Connecticutt 3-1, they came back to win two subsequent games and are still in the tournament. Auburn is just northeast of us and it's also where the Muckleshoot Casino stands. Seen how it all ties together?

Friday, August 20, 2010

46 Days To Go


On April 1 in '46 my cousin George was born. I don't have anything else to say about that number.

Our squardon picnic was held today. I went, I ate, I left.

Speaking of work, our new break room had the TV hooked up a few days ago and we now get a station called RTV (Retro Television). I've had a chance to watch episodes of I Spy and Daniel Boone. I missed Quincy, but it was there, along with Kojak. Today's I Spy guest starred Sue Randall, famous as Miss Landers on Leave It to Beaver. She looked a bit fuller in the face (filmed in 1965, three years after Randall left LITB), but she looked as lovely as ever. She also had a chance to emote more than she did as the wise and caring teacher. But you know what I liked best about these old shows?

Steady cameras that held a shot. No blitz cuts, no wobbly camera work, no brilliant lights flashing in my face--none of those damnable MTV effects every callow director finds necessary to inflict on us, and I doubt they even know why they're doing it.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

47 Days To Go


I'm sure I'll have trouble finding a tie-in to certain numbers, but 47 is a snap. The US Air Force, my employer, was born in 1947. So was I.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

48 Days To Go


There were 48 states when I was born, and there are 48 working days to go. Join the countdown as I watch a life of typical civil servitude come to an end. Today was unpleasant. I must have spent over 5 hours in a cramped K Loader cab of one kind or another, mostly waiting for people to get their butts in gear. At least I was smart enough to bring a book. On the up side, some reservists visiting from San Antonio had a burger burn to celebrate their departure, so I glommed onto free food.

You might have read about the sonic booms that hit our area yesterday. What happened was a float plane with a clueless pilot violated restricted air space in Seattle, causing two F-15 fighters stationed in Portland, OR, to scramble. I had just left the post office where I'd mailed my retirement papers when the noises hit. My first thought was the Army was firing some large cannons, but when my older daughter said it shook her house at a distance from the base I changed my mind.

As you know, the president flies around in Air Force One, even for non-essential, tax-money-wasting trips like the ones he's been on recently to prop up Democrats running for office. Did you also know that a second plane flies with him? Said backup craft sat outside my building yesterday until the POTUS finished his fraud, waste, and abuse campaigning, at which time it flew to wherever he was going next.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

49 Days To Go

I'm a 49er today. I mailed my retirement papers to Randolph AFB, Texas today and I hope they aren't lost. The government has a bad habit of losing my documents going back to 1966.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Willamette Writers Conference


August 6-8, 2010: My trip to Portland and the Willamette Writers' Conference was a lot of fun and a bit of work. I got up at 3:30 a.m. so I'd be there for breakfast at 7:30 but the roads were so sparsely populated with autos I got in almost an hour early. Not a problem. I went into the hotel and read a paper until the room opened that had the badges and packets for the volunteers. Soon after that my friend Dave "Evan" Lewis showed up and we hit the chow line. The food was plentiful if unspectacular. We paid $27-a-day for it but that was our only expense for the whole affair. Regular attendees paid as much as $500. Over the next three days we split our time between our work in the pitch practice room and watching panels. I was lucky on day one--most of the people who pitched to me were young ladies. But it wasn't all beer and skittles and creamy thighs. There were some characters who stick in my mind no matter how hard I've tried to dislodge them. To wit:

Meatloaf. This woman looked like Meatloaf, or his fatter, homelier sister. She had a book she couldn't explain, she ate enough at the meals to feed Bangladesh, and at one panel she slept the whole time. Dave and I happened to be sitting in the row behind her as she snoozed. I stage whispered "Meatloaf! Meatloaf!" a few times but she slept right through it.

Superfly. A 6'6" black guy in a suit a pimp would love who hasn't written anything. He's on a local access TV show and some days stands at one end of a bridge wearing a tux and Mickey Mouse ears. He passed out DVD's of his show, talked too loud in the pitch practice room, and seemed to be fundraising for some crackpot scheme.

Nervous Nellie. A woman who's written a memoir and can't figure out what to emphasize in her pitch. I got the impression she was about to break out into a crying jag at any moment, and damned if she didn't use me twice to practice her pitch. Twenty minutes before she was to meet with an agent she still didn't know what to do. I wanted to smack her in the head and tell her to quit fretting and leave me alone.

On the up side there were the 14- and 15-year-old girls who'd written novels. At 15 I was learning to smoke, and at 14 I hadn't accomplished even that much. Most admirable kids. Most of the people I worked with in pitch practice were normal, intelligent, and affable folks, of course, but they aren't as fun to talk about.

Better than all that was spending time with Dave and our rocker friend Tough Jim Gaston. Also Laurie, a friend of Jim's and member of his band, Rock Residue. And dinner out each night and a trip to Powell's City of Books after the con was over. All those books and I forgot to look for a couple of titles I've been wanting for years. I spent $75 anyway, half on some books for my younger daughter.

The programs I saw were a study in contradictions. Memoirs were out/Memoirs were hot. Don't use a professional editor to revise your manuscript/Do use one. Use e-mail to submit or query/Don't do it. Even the woman who proclaimed that any attribution other than "said" should be avoided found exceptions this year.

I don't know if I'll be able to attend next year, being a poor pensioner and all, but I'd like to. Being among so many writers and wannabes is refreshing.

50 More


Yep, only 50 more working days and I can kiss my illustrious career with the Department of Defense goodbye. While I am grateful as all get out for the steady paychecks, the b.s. factor that has gotten horribly worse these past few years assures that I won't miss the place one iota once I'm gone.

Pictured is a Tunner 60K Loader and a KC-135 air-to-air refueling plane. The plane is a visitor since all we have at McChord Field are C-17 Globemaster III cargo planes.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Happy Birthday America


Nothing profound to say. I just hope everyone has a safe and happy celebration.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Grandchild News

Stephanie had her ultrasound today and the verdict is in. It's a....












Girl!

Her name will be Sophia (maybe Sofia).

Friday, June 25, 2010

June 25, 1876


It was 134 years ago today that Lt. Col. Custer and five troops of the 7th U.S. Cavalry met their end at the Little Big Horn. That single engagement has generated more controversy than any other battle in history, and also spawned a small industry of books, figures, comics, cards, movies, and dozens of other ephemera. My Custer collection includes jigsaw puzzles, flags, a belt buckle, a battlefield pennant, dozens of books, figures, movies, a card set, a decanter, prints, and more. So here's a salute from the Cap'n to all those who fought and/or died that day, red or white.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

All About Me

I've been quiet here of late but there's an interview with me (part 3 of ?) on Evan Lewis's excellent blog. Go to davycrockettsalmanack.blogspot.com and learn all about my experiences at various mystery conventions. At least the parts I can prudently discuss.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

D-Day

On this day in 1944 the Allies invaded continental Europe at Normandy and started the drive that would lead to the defeat of Nazi Germany. Not many of the heroes who stormed those beaches are still alive, but here at Casa Cap'n we salute them.
Pictured is a blogger from that battle.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

I'm Rich! I'm Rich!

The following e-mail arrived in my box this morning. About damned time. I've already quit my job and sent Margaret my bank account information. I ought to have the money within 48 hours. Gee, I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight.

Dear Lucky Winner.

Please be informed that your email address have won you the grand sum of £1,000,000 GBP in the United Kingdom International Lottery promotion held 2010. Get in touch with me for more information on how to claim your prize.

Congratulations

Thank you,

Mrs. Margaret Sweetland.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I'LL BET HE'S SORRY HE ASKED



Blogmeister supreme Evan Lewis has an interview with me on his blog. He'll be running it over several days. Go to: davycrockettsalmanack.blogspot.com

That's Evan's picture.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

WOULD YOU PAY $2,499.99 FOR MY BOOK?

You would if you buy it from Big T Products via Amazon. Plus $3.99 for shipping. Are these people bottom-feeding burn artists or have I achieved hypermodern status?

BUSTED

Three of the four home invaders/murderers that killed my younger daughter's boyfriend's uncle were arrested in California on unrelated charges. One bailed out, the other two are in stir and awaiting extradition. The one who made bail did so before it was learned she was one of the creeps wanted up here.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

STEPHANIE



This is my older girl, Stephanie, the mother-to-be. I'm too young for all this.

FAMILY ALBUM



Here's an untrasound picture of my grandchild-to-be. Due date Nov. 16.

BAD NEWS HIT HOME

The following account is in tonight's on line local newspaper:

A 43-year-old man is dead after four robbers invaded his Edgewood home Wednesday night, according to the Pierce County Sheriff's Office.

Deputies responded around 9:30 p.m. to a report of a residential robbery in the 3600 block of 106th Avenue Court E. They arrived to find an unconscious man with a gunshot wound, according to Pierce County Sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer. The man died at the scene.

Three people were at home at the time of the robbery -- the man, his wife, and their 14-year-old son, Troyer said.

Troyer gave this account:

The family had been trying to sell a ring on Craigslist and had received a call earlier from the suspects, who said that they were interested. Three males and one female knocked on the door and showed cash to get inside. Once they were let in, the robbers pulled guns on the family, tying up the mother and shooting the father. The son then jumped on one gunman and was struck on the head.

The teen has been taken to a hospital. It does not appear that he was shot.

This may be the second Craigslist robbery of the night in the county, said Troyer, who added that another person was tied up and had his car stolen several hours earlier.

Cap'n Bob again. The victims are the uncle, aunt, and cousin of my younger daughter's boyfriend. As you can imagine, his family is terribly upset. I'm sure they'll catch the mutants who did this crime, and I'm equally sure they won't be sufficiently punished.

Monday, April 19, 2010

And Yet Another Perceptive Critic



Read another review of my page burner at Bill Crider's excellent blog:

BillCrider.blogspot.com

Just so this doesn't sound like nothing but blatant self-promotion, let me add that I won $50 from the Puyallup Tribe today.

Also, I will be doing a signing at the Seattle Mystery Bookstore on Saturday the 24th at noon. I'd love to see you there.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Another Perceptive Critic




Go to the following blog for another review of my latest book, plus the previous one.

http://randall120.wordpress.com/2010/04/17/the-toyman-robert-s-napier/#comment-1894

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hey, Walleeee, Happy Birthday


Tony "Wally Cleaver" Dow is 65 today. Thanks for all the great entertainment, Tony. That's Dow on the right and on the left is Jerry Mathers as The Beaver.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

TOYMAN REVIEW

There's a review of THE TOYMAN RIDES AGAIN at lauriepowerswildwest.blogspot.com

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The George Meme


Or, The Ten Most Influential Books I've Read.

In no particular order they are:

1. Doctor Dan the Bandage Man. The first book I recall owning. The Band Aids in the back made me want to cut myself just so I could use them.

2. The Catcher in the Rye. I identified with the kid who was out of step with the world. Still do.

3. The Complete Sherlock Holmes. I may have the title wrong, but once I read one story I had to read them all.

4. I. the Jury. I was just the right age to appreciate the sex and violence and I always found Hammer's over-the-top emotions amusing in a strange way.

5. Fanny Hill. This combination of Victorian prose and blatant sex made me wish I'd been born a century sooner and a lot richer.

6. Slaughterhouse Five. Which started me on a tear through Vonnegut's work, which I like a lot.

7. Farewell, My Lovely. My first Chandler. I still consider him the best.

8. Son of the Morning Star. The first detailed and balanced biography of George Armstrong Custer and the Battle of the Little Big Horn I read.

9. Babbitt. Love the zip, zing, and zowee.

10. The Pictorial History of World War II. A four-volume set we had at home when I was a kid, covering the war in stark detail.

I'm not counting comics, though if I did the first Spider-Man would be the one. I left out fantasy and science fiction, too. I was much impressed with Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinlien. If I had to choose a Western it would be Shane or True Grit, but I read them too late in life to really call them influential. The illustration that accompanies this post is what is known as gratuitous.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Apology to a Virgin

I've been crowing a lot lately about having a jacket stolen from me when I returned from L.A. via Virgin Airlines. Today I did my laundry and in the botton of the basket I found that jacket. How it got there I don't know. It wasn't even dirty. So I have removed Virgin from my overburdened shit list, sent them an apology, and confessed my sins to a itinerant druid priest.

What bothers me as much as standing here with egg on my face is the fact that I have no recollection whatsoever of tossing that jacket into the laundry basket. Is my mind really that far gone? It's a frightening prospect.

But as long as I have your attention, don't forget to read my new mystery novel, THE TOYMAN RIDES AGAIN. No signs of senility are present in that work.

Monday, March 22, 2010

New Header


See my new header? It's not the best job I've ever done, but it might be the most frustrating. The photo is me about 40 pounds ago, I mean 30 years ago. Oh to be young again.

For the last six days I have been trying to find someone, anyone, at Virgin America Airlines to speak with about the jacket stolen from my luggage from one of their fine, fine baggage handlers. Talk about a runaround. Call here. Call there. Go here. E-mail this. Contact that. I'm convinced they intentionally make it impossible to complain about their lousy service. For one thing, they don't publish anything that would direct you to the department that handles the problem. If by some miracle you find the right number to call no one will answer. I'm disgusted. I'll make one more attempt, by writing to the main office, but I have little hope anything will come from it.
I have a lengthy shit list, and Virgin America just got added.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Let's Do Lunch


My cousin Glenn and I ate at LA's famous In-and-Out Burgers when I was there. Some people (like Mark Evanier) swear they are the best burgers anywhere. They're good, but I've had better. The best hamburgers I ever ate were served at a Der Weinerschnitzel in Campbell, California, circa 1977. The franchise was operated by a Middle Eastern family and they flavored their burgers with something that gave them an exotic and wonderful taste.
Not that there's anything wrong with In-and-Out. If nothing else, their order taking should be the blueprint for every fast food business extant. A line of 20 cars can be processed in a matter of minutes, quicker than one person can order at the average McGarbage. It's a marvel of efficiency.
The photo of this Air India 747 on its glide path was taken by cousin Glenn during a different visit. As you might guess, we're close to the airport. You know, LAX, where Virgin America's baggage handlers think we pack our clothes for their use.

Left Coast Crime in Los Angeles


March 11-14 marked another LCC, and since it nearly coincided with the official release date of my second book (order THE TOYMAN RIDES AGAIN on Amazon), I decided to go. I also thought it would be a good chance to see some old and new friends who live down there.
The Good: I enjoyed the convention for the most part. I attended quite a few panels and they were mostly interesting. The one on Chandler's LA contained a few misstatements of fact, but nothing too glaring. I was able to correct one during the Q&A. The book bags were nice, with zippered tops, and the books inside were okay. I kept about half. The staff was friendly and tried to be helpful--not that I needed any help, but I felt they were there if I did. The hotel was very good, with most of the amenities. I'm still not sure why people need a phone next to the toilet, but for them that do, it was there. It was generous of Michael Connelly to provide a free bag lunch on Saturday, but the food was forgettable except for the cookie. But it was free. I saw half a dozen people there I knew from either Dapa-Em or MDM, and a few writers of my acquaintance. Had a nice chat with Parnell Hall, name dropper that I am. I also saw some LA landmarks while being driven around: The Coliseum, USC, train station, Parker Center, LA Times, and the Bradbury Building. I went inside the Bradbury building, which was two streets down from the hotel (Omni Int'l), but couldn't go upstairs because it was closed. Still, I had a good look at the famous grill work, brass, and architecture. From the outside it isn't as eye-catching, and the lower floors house a Sub-Way sandwich shop, a cutlery store, and a cell phone store. The rest of the street is all Mexican shops. Walking along, I felt like I was in Ensenada. On Saturday evening I met my old pal Jan Strand and his wife Julie for dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Good food, good conversation, and I learned that one can have margaritas on the rocks. I can't abide crushed ice in my beverages and this was a wonderful revelation. The next day, after I'd left the hotel for a Holiday Inn, Jan and Julie took me to the Gene Autry Museum of Western Heritage. It took a while to drive the last half mile because the approach is the same road as the LA Zoo, but we had a swell time seeing all the cowboy/Old West exhibits and the Hollywood versions of the Old West. I mean, when you can see John Wayne's shirt, Clint Eastwood's hat, and George Armstrong Custer's pistol in the same building, something's going right.

The Bad: The hospitality suite was a joke. Little or no food and not much of a variety in beverages. All I saw to eat were some apples and a couple of bags of chips. And the room was tiny. The name badges didn't identify the status of the attendee. Writer, Editor, Agent, Fan, Bookseller, etc. Maybe this isn't done anymore, but it should be. Worst of all, some s.o.b. stole my denim jacket from my suitcase at LAX on the return flight. I paid $25 to have that bag sent, and this is how they treat it. Maybe even worse is the fact that I'd planned to spend the week after the con with my cousin when a job opportunity popped up for him. We managed to visit for one day. Now, I learn that the job was canceled. I haven't been in LA for 25 years and the one week I'm there this happens. I could just scream.

The Ugly: Photos of me. Notice that earlier I said there were some people I knew in attendance? That translated to one book sale. Since I wasn't on any panels, I didn't expect a stranger to buy one (at a generous discount), but this...

The next Left Coast Crime convention will be on the tropical seaport city of Santa Fe, New Mexico. Do be there.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

FESS PARKER, RIP


The man who portrayed Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone to millions of my generation has passed away at age 85. By all accounts he was a fine gentleman and a kind person. I never met him, but I'll always be grateful for the many entertainments he gave me not only as Davy and Daniel but in movies like THE GREAT LOCOMOTIVE CHASE, WESTWARD HO THE WAGONS, and OLD YELLER. Thanks, Fess.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Toyman Review


The following is the first review I've seen of my latest literary effort, THE TOYMAN RIDES AGAIN. Hey, if Harriet Klausner likes it, I'm happy. She's a dear lady.


In Tacoma, Washington, veteran and former investigative reporter Jack Lorentz enjoys selling collectible toys to baby boomers though he only makes a modest living at the Olden Daze co-op. August Baldwin enters his shop and says he recognizes the smell of death by shooting (see Love, Death, And The Toyman). He explains to Lorentz that he wants to hire him to protect the reenactor Charles Swanson playing the role of General George Armstrong Custer. He feels with Jack’s recent reputation, he might keep away those who want to harm the reenactor playing the role because someone has threatened him.

Jack is to play the part of reporter Mark Kellogg who died at the battle of Little Big Horn. However, after a previous skirmish, on the way to the site where the current battle will rage, Native Americans led by Harold Two Bears and Professor Abigail She Stands In Light attack the company. When the dust settles, Custer-Swanson is dead with Two Bears’ knife in him. Police Sergeant Cooper arrests Two Bears while Abigail asks Jack to snoop as she believes her friend is innocent. Attracted to the professor, Jack knows she had access to Two Bear’s knife. As he makes inquiries, Jack alienates everyone.

This is a fun Reagan era whodunit starring a reluctant former investigative journalist who feels guilty that he failed at his mission though he knows Swanson as Custer was impossible to protect. The story line provides a fascinating deep look at reenactors, but an incident with a new recruit seems over the top of Granite Peak. The whodunit is entertaining as the reader knows whom most likely killed Custer yet not sure how. The Toyman Rides Again is a fun mystery.

Harriet Klausner

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Dear John



There's a movie out that I think is titled DEAR JOHN. I also hear it's not very good. I mention it only because someone at work told me that in the beginning it shows a C-17 cargo airplane being loaded. That's what I do for a living, usually driving the big machine that transports the load to the plane. Not rocket science but it pays the bills. The photo depicts a 60K Tunner Loader. It is capable to hauling 60,000 pounds of cargo and named after General Tunner, the architech of the Berlin Air Lift. That's not a C-17 flying past in the picture, by the way. It's a KC-135 air-to-air refueler, which is also capable to carrying cargo loads.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

It Was 174 Years Ago Today



On the 13th day of the siege of the Alamo Santa Ana's forces finally breached the North Wall's defenses in a pre-dawn assault. Once that happened the outcome of the battle was not in question. The defnders were killed to a man. The date was March 6, 1836.

The figures I'm presenting today depict: (left) Col. William Barrett Travis; (center) Jim Bowie, and; (right) Davy Crockett. Despite the recent hoorawing, I firmly believe that Crockett died during the fight and there is firm evidence to support that idea. But I'm not here to argue historical trivia. I wish to pay tribute to the brave defenders of the Alamo, whose lengthy stand served to allow Sam Houston to raise an army as well as cause large, demoralizing casualties in the Mexican ranks.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Happy Birthday Linda

Today is the birthday of my wife, Linda. We'll be having dinner at Harbor Lights, cake at her mother's, and hit the Muckleshoot Casino tomorrow. I don't have a photo in my files so you'll have to imagine what she looks like.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Happy Birthday Mom


Gloria Napier/Kirshner/Newsome, nee Servidio, celebrates her 87th birthday today. She still lives independently and is in good health and spirits, I'm glad to say. Happy Birthday, Mom.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Bald-Faced Liar/Creative Writer Exercise



Dave Lewis, alias Evan Lewis, chose me to play the Bald-Faced Liar game. The rules follow:

1. Thank the person who gave this to you.
2. Copy the logo and place it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who nominated you.
4. Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth - or - switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie. See below.
5. Nominate seven "Creative Writers" who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies.
6. Post links to the seven blogs you nominate.
7. Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know you nominated them. Seven? I don't have that many fingers.

Herewith my submission:

1) I killed over a dozen men before my 21st birthday.

2) I spent most of age 7 in an iron lung.

3) I sued Bob Dylan for copyright infringement and won, but he never paid me.

4) In Viet Nam, armed only with a bayonet, I captured 3 Viet Cong.

5) I worked my way through college selling cocaine.

6) I have three testicles.

7) I once took part in a cattle roundup.

And/Or ...

1) I sang lead in a rock band.

2) I met Joe Garagiola in a men's room.

3) I went to a nudist colony.

4) I had a license to drive a bulldozer before I had a license to drive a car.

5) I worked as a gravedigger.

6) I lived in 5 states by age 6.

7) My sixth grade teacher thought I had a speech impediment.


The only rule I'm breaking is sending this to others. Most of the people I know have already played.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

The Birthday Boys

Tiny (left) and Toby turned seven today. Tiny belongs to my older girl Stephanie, and Toby belongs to Kristine. Both are fine, and very good boys. When they were puppies the girls threw them lavish parties. Now that the boys are middle-aged their birthday passes with relative quiet.

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Scratch Another Calendar



So long, 2009. Hello 2010. Hope everyone had a decent Xmas. I just got home from five days in a cabin with some other scruffy old farts for a semi-annual gathering called Tankon. Four out of the five nights I woke up freezing my arms off and as a result have a chest cold. Nevertheless, a good and lazy time was had by all. I read three books, saw about a dozen movies, and wrote one apazine.

Xmas was fine, too.

I just wanted to say Happy New Year to all before it hits midnight here. I'll probably be fast asleep when the new year arrives, and glad of it.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Happy Festivus



Happy Festivus to all. May your aluminum pole be bright and your grievances unending.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Remembering John

Each year on this date I take time to remember John Lennon. I listen to his songs, play a few of them on my guitar, and think about how much my own life was enriched because of him and The Beatles. Thank you, John.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Happy Birthday Kristine

My baby turned 19 today. Seems like last week we were playing Minnie Slides and Super Wheeze and I read her stories and nursery rhymes at night. She's blossomed into a bright, talented, lovely young lady and I'm mighty proud of her.

Happy Birthday Uncle Georgie

On this day in 1839 George Armstrong Custer entered the world in New Rumley, Ohio. He went on to become a hero of the Civil War and a legend after his defeat and death at the Little Big Horn in 1876.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

The Story With No Name, Chapter 18

Arnside washed the trail dust from his hands and face at a watering trough, beat the dirt from his clothes with his hat, and strode into Molly's Cafe with hunger tearing at his belly like cats in a sack.
"I'll have whatever's ready," he told the plump, smiling waitress, "and a pitcher of water, please."
She took one look at his red, chapped skin and peelings lips and hustled off, returning moments later with a large blue ewer and a tin tumbler. Walt filled the tumbler with shaking hands, drank deeply, and sighed.
"Appears like you haven't drunk nothin' in a month of Sundays, mister."
"Feels like it, too, darling. Are you Molly?"
"She's the owner, cook, and my ma. I'm Gretchen. I'll fetch that food now. I hope stew's okay."
Before Walt could answer she scurried away and was back in two shakes with a large bowl of steaming mulligan, napkin and utensils, and basket of bread.
"Anything interesting happen in these parts?" he asked around a mouthful of stew. The juice burned the roof of his mouth but after what he'd been through a little heat was like an old friend.
"Interesting? Our marshal got his head busted and had to get shipped off to a home for the feeble-minded, our undertaker had a bunch of fingers broke, and an old prospector was in earlier swearin' he saw The Magi riding across the desert. Says it means the Second Coming is nigh and we'd all best prepare our souls."
Walt grinned at the girl's recitation and tucked back into his meal. When he finished he left a half dollar on the table, twice what the meal cost, and strode out to find a quiet saloon. A whiskey would satisfy right handsome about now, he allowed.
He took three steps down the boardwalk when the import of the girl's story slammed him like the board that sent Marshal Stryker to the drool academy. He ran back into Molly's and grabbed Gretchen by her shoulders.
"That sourdough, where can I find him?"
"Wha--?"
"Tell me!"
"Stop it, you're hurting me."
Walt loosened his grip. "Sorry, Gretchen. I need to find that prospector, right away."
She thought for a moment, tongue out. "He has a shack behind the saddle shop. If he ain't there try The Silver Palace saloon."
Arnside raced off.
He found the shack where Gretchen said it would be, but no one answered his knock. Should have tried the saloon first, he chided himself.
Walt stood at the bat wings of The Silver Palace and scanned the room before entering. Wouldn't pay to have some of Zack Roden's men inside. His glance fell on a table at the center of the room where a shabby old cuss was regaling the room with a story, much to their amusement.
"I tell ya', I seen 'em with my own eyes. Long-legged critters with necks long as stovepipes and backs like anthills, just a-lumbering across the sands like they owned the desert. I seen a picture once of the three magi when they come calling on baby Jesus and they was riding the same critters. If that don't prove it, I don't know what does."
"Sure, Gabe, sure. Have another drink. Maybe you'll tell us about seeing the Noah's Ark next."
The crowd burst out laughing. Gabe jumped to his feet and pushed through the men having a laugh at his expense. He nearly plowed Walt Arnside down as he crashed out of the saloon.
"Whoa, there, old timer. What the rush?"
"Dang-blasted fools. Wouldn't know the truth if it crawled up their dumb asses."
Walt laid a comforting arm on old Gabe's shoulder. "Why not tell me your story? I'm the believing kind."
"Can't talk on a dry throat, pardner. Let's mosey up the street and find a joint where we can dip a bill in peace."
With a bottle between them and each man holding a full shot glass, Gabe proposed a toast.
"Here's how."
"Now, about the magi. . ." Arnside prompted.
"Yesterday, I was coming back from digging in the Mohawk Mountains when I seen a passel of riders out in the Yuma Desert. Makes no sense. Nothin' there but sand and snakes. No water for a hundred miles. Even the A-patch go 'round it."
Gabe refilled his glass and continued. "They was maybe six or seven on horses, but the others were ridin' those Bible animals like I seen in the picture. Four of them, they was."
"Was one a woman?"
"Too far to tell, even with my spyglass."
"Any Indians?"
"Nope. Like I said, the A-patch got more sense than to go out there."
"Can you tell me how to find this place, Gabe?"
"Sure. Might as well. The world'll end soon enough anyway."
Armed with a detailed description of how to find the last place Roden, Lola and the others had been spotted--assuming Bourbon allowed them to live--Arnside stepped from the saloon and aimed himself toward the stable.
"You!" a voice cried. "You do this!"
He turned to see Choo How pointing at Walt with his bandaged hand. Behind the Chinaman, a crowd began to grow.